Ever since meeting my hot, tattooed, bald husband, I had been fantasizing about shooting him shaving my head. Close to five years later, I finally got the ovaries to ask him if he would help me bring this idea to life. I don’t know if I was tripping over the head-shaving thing or the fact that he would need to take time out of his busy schedule to help me create this project, but something was blocking me from manifesting this thought into reality. He agreed immediately, (yay!) so I called the first person that I thought of, our dear friend and talented photographer, Stephen Dietrich. Stephen has photographed us together, separately, with our band, and even toured with us for a couple weeks last year. He knows us both well and for something this intimate, I knew that comfort level would be important. He also agreed right away. We set a date and time, Thursday around 8pm, and then I really couldn’t back out. Of course, my hair looked amazing that day, but this train was in motion and there was no stopping it now. It just so happened that our bandmate Noah was coming over that night for a writing session as well.
The last time I shaved my head was a big deal. I cried. I avoided going home because I didn’t want to face Carl. When I did see him I could barely make eye contact. It took me weeks to get used to my face and head, but I did like it in the end. This time was so different. I took a break from cooking dinner for everyone, went to our bathroom with Carl and Stephen, and we did it! The razor tickled a bit at first, I got a little emotional because Carl was so gentle. I could feel the care in his touch and that warmed my heart. I waited for the tears to come but they didn’t. In fact, I got very happy right away and a big smile spread across my face. I love my bald head. I feel powerful and beautiful. I know that part of this is because I have grown into myself over the years, but the other part is the support system I had that night. Three strong men in my life all gathering around me to facilitate what I needed to do for myself. Carl, Noah, and Stephen, thank you for holding space for me. Men like you are the future.
This is what feminism looks like. It’s listening to and believing in women. It’s questioning why we (as a society) do things the things we do. It’s women daring to love ourselves and other women; radical behavior in the face of a culture who’s economy capitalizes on our own self-hatred. If your agenda is threatened by female empowerment, than question your agenda rather than continuing to attack and disenfranchise the very creatures who usher your safe passage into this world. Yin needs yang. Darkness needs light. Women need men. Men need women. We all need each other to get through this thing called life. The sooner we accept this, the better for us all.
In deep gratitude and respect,